Brianna's Sinful Cowboys [Casanova Cowboys 4] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 15

  She gave him her back, her gloved hands tugging at her hat. As much as Jackson wanted to comfort her and flood her with reassurances, she needed to figure this out on her own. Was proving something to her mother, the woman she wanted to get away from, more important than her love for him?

  “You’ve been puttin’ so much effort into the same woman you want nothin’ to do with.”

  When she faced him again, her eyes had taken on a glassy sheen. “I don’t know what to do, Jackson. I’ve never felt so torn in my life.” She motioned with a flap of her hand to the expanse of land and mountains behind them. “I don’t give up, and yet I want to. Is your heart in this job?”

  Jackson sighed. After a long moment, he shook his head. “No. It’s not. It never was.”

  Her brow furrowed deeper. Her shoulders slacked with a huffed breath. “And you didn’t tell me?” She groaned, scuffing her boot on the snow-packed gravel drive. “Why did you come?”

  “I’ll support you in anythin’ you do, Brianna. I love you that much. If you wanted to go to the Arctic and study polar bears for a year, I’d be right there by your side.” He cautiously closed the gap, dragging his hands down her arms. Her lips were drawn tight. She avoided his gaze and fought back tears like a champ. “Sweetheart, I know what you thought this promotion meant to you. We’ve had lengthy talks about it. You were so excited and I couldn’t take that excitement away. This is my hometown and I wanted to be the one to show it to you. I wanted to be the one to maybe”—Jackson shrugged—“just maybe, get you to see there is so much to love about this town. Things I took for granted until I came back for a funeral in March.”

  “Jackson,” Brianna breathed. She fell into him, her face pressing hard to his chest. “I love you, too.”

  Tires crunched behind him, and he glanced back to find Carter guiding Colt’s truck down the drive. Brianna cupped the side of his face and brought him back to her. He took her gloved hand and kissed her knuckles.

  “You don’t need the promotion, Bree. You have everythin’ you need right here. You won’t have to worry about your mother. You won’t have to worry about Sean. You can invite your brother and your father down anytime. Things’ll be different, better. Trust me, honey.” He gave her chin a gentle pinch. “Trust. Me.”

  “I had the most enlightenin’ conversation with Summer. I don’t know if she was speakin’ to me deliberately because of what I was here to do, but she made me see things I’ve been overlookin’. And not just here, but throughout my life.”

  The truck came up alongside them. Carter cut the engine and climbed out of the cab. Jackson greeted him with a hug and a strong clap on the shoulder. Summer slid out from the passenger seat and rounded the truck, wearing a warm smile. She opened her arms for Brianna and greeted her with the same genuine warmth and hospitality he remembered from years ago. Summer had always been a loving, caring woman. She was Carter’s balanced partner, and that didn’t seem to have changed.

  Carter gave Brianna a hug before he pulled out a cooler from the truck and motioned toward the barn. “Braden should have the girls saddled up for us. Brought some snacks and coffee. You’ll be needing it after a couple hours in the cold.” He narrowed his eyes on Jackson. “You remember how to ride?”

  Jackson laughed. “We’ll see, won’t we?”

  “Brianna, have you ridden?”

  “A few times. Never in the snow,” Brianna admitted.

  “Guess we’ll be breaking you in.”

  * * * *

  Summer slowed her horse, falling in step with Brianna. Brianna tugged the scarf away from her chattering teeth and smiled. Summer laughed and unwound the scarf from her neck.

  “Here. I’m used to the cold. Besides, I’ve got a few layers of thermal on,” she said, leading the horse a little closer with her reins. She handed the scarf to Brianna. “Are you plannin’ on stayin’ around here for a while?”

  “I’m not sure what Jackson’s ultimate plan is,” Brianna said, working the scarf around her neck with one hand. Cold or not, she wasn’t releasing her reins. “I think my agenda’s changed though.”

  “That’s nice to hear. Carter was fillin’ in Bray and I about the proposal for the land.”

  Brianna lifted her brows in quick response and resignation. “I’m sure everyone knows by now.” She swallowed back the urge to ask Summer for clarification about her relationship and cast Carter and Braden a quick glance.

  “Yes,” Summer said. Brianna shot her a confused look. The woman shrugged, wagging a finger between the two men. “You were confused the other day at the shop when Braden came in after I told you I was with Carter. I’m with both.”

  “I hadn’t wanted to ask.”

  “Most people won’t. Seems to be the trend with these Ryders. Lexi’s with Travis and Brent. Mandy’s with Craig and Brody. I’m with Carter and Braden.” Summer shifted her weight in the saddle, the leather creaking, and added, “You’re with Jackson, and there’s suspicion Rylan has been keepin’ a very close eye on you. He’s more on the conventional side, but then again, so were Craig and Brody until Mandy got involved. I’ve always found Rylan mysterious. Beneath his good-boy nature and that lighthearted smile that can brighten a room, there’s something more basic to him. More…primal, if you will.”

  You nailed it. That’s exactly what I see in him, and I’m cravin’ it.

  “I think Rylan’s eye on me is for a different reason. I don’t know what to make of him sometimes. He can be fun one minute, cold the next.”

  Brianna pursed her lips and watched the men slow their horses. Carter pulled back on the reins, bringing his horse around to face them. The horse pawed the ground and backed up. He rubbed the mare’s neck then leaned his forearm against the horn of the saddle. Jackson brought his horse alongside Brianna’s. He reached over and grabbed her hand, giving her fingers a gentle squeeze.

  Summer nudged her horse’s flank and sidled up between Carter and Braden. Brianna forced back the flutter of envy as she observed the contentment in Summer’s expression. She thought she had it with Jackson, and only Jackson, until Rylan came along.

  Summer stretched across the small gap and whispered something to Carter. Carter’s stunning blue eyes lifted to Jackson. Brianna took the silent moment to drink in the breathtaking, majestic backdrop of the snow-capped mountains.

  “Have you told her about Hailey?” Carter asked. Brianna’s momentary delight fractured. She looked at Jackson for a long moment.

  “Not yet,” Jackson said.

  “Hailey was Rylan’s girlfriend, wasn’t she?” Brianna asked, turning her gaze on Carter.

  Carter nodded. “She was. She was killed in a car accident in March.”

  Brianna nodded once. March. A chill erupted along her spine. She twisted in her saddle and squared her shoulder to Jackson. He frowned.

  “You came back for her funeral,” she said.

  “Yes.” Jackson slipped his fingers between hers, his thumb stroking the back of her gloved hand.

  “That’s terrible,” she murmured. “Why would I need to know that personal bit of information, though?”

  Carter led his horse up to hers. “Hailey was killed where Rylan found you the morning of your accident.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Brianna sat in the car for over a half hour, rehearsing what she would say. Her stomach knotted and cramped, having nothing to do with the residual ache from her accident. The last few days had left her stirring with concern and confusion.

  She looked up at the log cabin-like structure in front of her. A dim light glowed from the two windows along the front of the building. She couldn’t detect any activity from within, but the two patrol cars, one being Rylan’s SUV in the parking spot next to her car, assured her the desolate appearance belied its inhabitation.

  Brianna sucked in a controlled breath and let it out slowly. Why the hell was she so nervous about going into that building? She’d walked into many “unknowns” before, confident and ready to take on t
he world. Yet she sat here, her legs weak, her fingers trembling and her stomach battling a barrage of butterflies that swarmed between every organ.

  “It’s him,” she concluded. Her feelings, her emotions, everything had been challenged since she arrived in Ryder. What should’ve been a fairly easy deal and promotion turned into a fluke, a failure, and a surprise reality check.

  All starting with the man sitting behind that closed door, protected by a uniform and a name. The same man who took every opportunity to avoid Jackson and herself since Jackson’s talk with him at Carter’s place.

  Every time she pictured Rylan’s heart-wrenchingly handsome face and those piercing amber-brown eyes, she experienced a full-blown visceral response. Her mouth went dry, her heart palpated, and the damn butterflies exploded from their cocoons. “He saved your life.”

  No more hesitating. She needed to confront Rylan after all she’d learned over the last few days, and more importantly, what Carter divulged this afternoon.

  Brianna snatched up the wrapped box from the passenger seat and climbed out of the car into the falling snow. She lifted the hood of her coat over her hair and tightened the scarf around her neck, all the while staring at the building. Her boots were frozen in place, keeping her from moving forward. The twin porch lights set the snowflakes nearby into a dazzling stream of falling gold. The corners of the front windows were frosted over.

  Deep breath in, deep breath out.

  “Here goes nothin’. Or everythin’.”

  Brianna approached the stairs that led up to the department’s single front door. Halfway up the stairs, the door opened and two uniformed officers emerged. They came up short of her, one narrowing his eyes briefly.

  “May I help you, ma’am?” the officer asked, his gaze lowering to the gift in her hand.

  Brianna swallowed down the sudden lump in her throat. She shifted, her nerves jittering below the surface of her skin. “I was lookin’ for Sheriff Rylan.”

  “Is there somethin’ I might be able to help you with?” The officer’s skeptical gaze suddenly softened. He raised a gloved finger to his mouth. “Ahh. You’re the woman from Crosslane, the one Rylan saved.” He motioned to the gift. “He ain’t good at acceptin’ things from people when he’s doin’ his job, but you’re more than welcome to try. I can walk you in.”

  Brianna shook her head. “No, that’s fine.” Doubt crept into her fretting nerves, stirring her anxiety vigorously. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. “I’ll only be a moment.”

  “How’re you feelin’, ma’am? That turn’s known for takin’ lives.” The officer cast a solemn glance at his partner. “Bad history lies on Crosslane.”

  “I’ve gotten that impression,” Brianna said quietly.

  The officer flashed her a smile and tipped his hat. “G’luck ma’am. Be careful on the road. Callin’ for a nasty storm overnight.”

  Brianna watched the officers hurry down the stairs and jog across the small parking lot to the only other patrol car in the lot. She waited for the two to get into the car and start the engine before she faced the looming door.

  “Stop draggin’ your heels, girl,” she scolded under her breath. Steeling herself against the thought of rejection, she climbed the last few steps, opened the door, and stepped into the warm building.

  Christmas lights lined the front desk and the walls, twinkling white in the dimly lit building. The soft hum of instrumental Christmas music filtered in the otherwise silent room. The fresh aroma of coffee hung in the air, making her mouth water.

  Lights were off in the cubicles directly behind the front desk. Brianna let herself through the half door, peeking around the corner of the wall. Two more desks lay deserted, files neatly piled on one corner, computers shut down. A stream of warm yellow light came from the open door at the far end of the building, leading to Rylan’s office. The thin carpet throughout the station silenced her approach, but the furious pounding of her heart could just as easily make up for it.

  She paused before the door and closed her eyes, grasping the small gift in both hands, praying for a burst of confidence. Maybe she should’ve called out to Rylan before encroaching on his territory. Maybe she was overstepping her boundaries. Who brought someone a gift after only a few awkward meetings? Well, she did, for one.

  No turnin’ back now. With one last cleansing breath, she opened her eyes and stepped into the doorway.

  And came up short.

  She could never mistake Rylan’s figure, but the way the glow of falling snow silhouetted his frame as he leaned against the window and cast an ever-changing shadow over his dark hair left her mind reeling. From where she stood, she could see those silky strands brushing against his angular cheek. The muscles in his strong jaw moved slightly, the shadows darkening when he locked it, lightening when he loosened it. The man was tall, probably packed hard with muscle beneath his dark-green uniform. His belt hugged his narrow waist. His pants did an amazing job of enhancing a fine rear and long, muscled legs.

  He held something, his attention focused down on the object just out of her line of vision. She gazed around the small office, noting the desk lamp that leaked light into the main building. A file sat open on the desk top, and a plastic tree-shaped container filled with gold-wrapped chocolates, but otherwise, Rylan kept his workspace in neat condition.

  “Don’t make a habit of sneakin’ up on men with guns, Miss Cabot.”

  Brianna jumped and gasped, her full attention shooting back to Rylan. He angled himself against the window, enough that his calculating gaze watched her, but not enough to have caught her attention as he moved. His hand was coming out of his pants pocket, no longer holding whatever it was he had admired.

  “I–I’m sorry. I didn’t want to startle you,” Brianna said, her face heating as she listened to the absurdity of her own words.

  “Jackson know you’re here?”

  “Yes.”

  Rylan pushed off the windowsill and spread out a hand toward the chair on the side of his desk. “Have a seat. Would you like some coffee? I brewed a fresh pot a little while ago.”

  She didn’t miss the skating glance he gave to the box in her hands, but didn’t say anything. “I don’t want to hold you up or keep you from your work.”

  “It’s been a quiet night.” Rylan stepped up to the chair he had offered her and angled it toward his own leather desk chair. The last time she sat in that chair, the man lit every cell in her body on fire. “Come sit. I’ll be right back.”

  Brianna stepped into the office as Rylan strode by her without as much as a glance. She pursed her lips, eyeing the chair, and decided against taking him up on his offer. I’ll make it quick. Not goin’ to bother him long.

  Her muscles stiffened from nerves, tension riding through her shoulders and creeping up her neck. Her stomach knotted. She nudged the carpet with the toe of her leather boot, fidgeting with the gift as she waited. I’ve become a nervous wreck since arrivin’ here.

  She tried to distract herself by looking around, but there was little of interest in the unnaturally clean office. Two pictures sat on his desk, one of an older couple—parents?—and one of a group of teenage boys. She stepped closer to get a better look at the group of boys, their arms slung casually over each other’s shoulders.

  “From earlier days when my cousins and I would hang out by the swimmin’ hole,” Rylan said, bringing her ramrod straight. He held a mug out to her and placed a few sugar packets and creamers on the desk at her hip. “I should’ve asked how you take your coffee, but you seemed preoccupied.”

  “This is fine.” Brianna placed the mug on the desk. The idea of drinking anything at the moment left her belly rioting. “Those are all of your cousins?”

  Rylan settled in his chair, a grin on his sensual mouth. When he smiled, those lips were as beckoning and kissable as any she’d seen. More often than not, they were in a straight line, without much happiness curling them upward.

  “Yes, ma’am. All seven of us Ryder
boys. Travis, Brody, Craig, Carter, Colt, Landon, and me.” He sipped his coffee, his gaze lingering on the photo before turning to Brianna. “Big family.”

  “I wouldn’t know what that’s like. My mother divorced my father when I was eight. Dad got custody of my brother. Mom got custody of me. She comes from a wealthy family and made certain my father had no contact with me.” Brianna shrugged a shoulder. “I’ve since located my father and my brother. Both are livin’ in Washington state. My father works for a construction firm. My brother”—she swept her hand down Rylan’s figure—“is a state trooper. I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like.”

  “That’s gotta be tough.”

  “It is, but it was far worse before I turned eighteen and moved out of my house. My mother doesn’t know how to handle things out of her control.” Brianna tapped the edge of the desk, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Sean’s a prime example of that, but I’m not here to take up your time on the mess which is my family history.”

  “You aren’t takin’ up my time, Miss Cabot.”

  Again with the Miss Cabot. He addressed her with such formality she couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing it intentionally to put distance between them. Probably.

  “Um, well, I thought you’d appreciate that I had a nice talk with Summer. I’ve learned quite a bit from her in the few hours we’ve spoken, about the mechanics of Ryder and such. I’ve decided that I’m not goin’ to pursue the deal. I haven’t notified my boss, and I’m certain he’ll be sendin’ someone in my stead to try and work out a contract, but it won’t be me.”

  Rylan stared at her for a long minute, lowering his coffee mug to his desk. “Thought you needed this promotion.”